the things i want but do not have.
This is my first tumblr post, as you can probably tell. I’ve never blogged before, but figured it was an appropriate time to start.
Tonight I’ve been mentally making a list of everything I want. Not a shopping list, or a to-do list. Just things in general. This quote sparked my interest, “Well, sooner of later this cold, it’s going to break. So our hands will be warm again, but all I want is not to need you now..” by Dashboard Confessional (if you don’t know them, you should give them a listen)
Anywho, here goes nothin’:
I want…
1. Warm weather.
2. Time to take pictures. (I can really tell the fact that I haven’t is contributing to the shitty mood I’ve been in lately due to certain shitty situations.)
3. Time to go to the beach. (I am in love with the beach and want to go during the winter sooooo bad. Take me?)
4. Everything to go my way. (Something I’ve been wanting for a while, lately it’s been quite the opposite.)
5. My life to be excellent again. (about two and a half months ago I was GREAT, things were perfect. I don’t think I have ever been happier -well, from what I remember…it could quite possibly be a jaded memory. And things have been severely gone downhill since. There are very few things in my life, at the moment, that are excellent.)
6. Glasses. (just really cute fake glasses for the purpose of wearing them. Lame, I know.)
7. An old typewriter.
8. A sweet, handwritten letter that’s been mailed to me. (I’ve never gotten one before. A love letter would be perfect; however, I’m afraid the one person I would love to receive that from won’t be doing this anytime soon. So, a letter from a friend would suffice. Really, a letter from anyone. Even a stranger!)
9. A new friend. (Someone I’ve never met before)
10. To not be afraid of the future.
11. To know where to go to college. (This decision has been stressing me out sooooo much lately. I have no idea where to go. I have no idea what to do. I’m worried I’ll be unhappy when I choose. And, it feels like such a permanent decision…and those scare me alot. The idea of being trapped is a terrible, terrible feeling.)
12. To not have to move on. (I would prefer if you would just come back and things would go back to how they used to be…)
13. Atonement.
14. Clarity. (One thing is contributing to the last three. But, there’s so much more to this thing. Things have been fuzzy about just about too much in my life, here lately. The lines are all blurry and I can’t see clearly. I don’t know what I want, ever; I’ve always been indecisive but it’s gotten so much worse.)
15. 11:11 wishes to come true. (haha)
16. To hear the words you once spoke once again.
17. Us to be everything we wanted.
18. Happiness, eternal happiness.
19. Answers. (to all my many, many questions)
20. A Canon 50D. (just thought I’d throw that out there…)
last, but most definitely not least (for now)
21. To be able to read minds. (with an on and off switch, obviously. I’m the worst interpreter, EVER. And this would really, really help…on a daily basis.)
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