i will follow you into the dark.
allow endings.
Oddly enough, these two seemingly innocuous words are the two words that have helped me the most the past few days…
It’s one of those phrases that’s so small and minute but has the ability to make you feel so much. it makes me sad. hopeful. reminiscent. optimistic. nostalgic. but, I know things will be okay. Everything is always okay. People say time heals all. But, time is the hardest thing for me to give; patience is the hardest task to master. I don’t want to wait for things to be wonderful again, I just want them to stay great in the first place. But, I’m going to allow endings and try to heal my heart. “and that is the hardest thing in the world, forcing yourself to let go, wrenching the memories out of your heart…because one can clear one’s mind, but how does one clear one’s heart?” (to borrow words from a friend; sorry, they just fit so well).
Maybe when things turn green again, it will be good to say you know me, and that you were lucky to have met me. For now, I’m working on myself. I wish you were beside me everyday to help. But, wishes don’t come true, and it’s best to stay in the present. Eventually, the omnipresent shadow you’ve left behind will fade, just like you did. I will be okay, and I will stand on my own two feet just like I used to. You’ve made this incredibly difficult. I’m disappointed in how things have turned out, I’m disappointed in you and in myself. We were never supposed to be like this. Maybe things will go back, maybe they won’t. The best thing for me right now is to hold on to anything stable and keep moving. Remember to keep breathing, readers. Deep breaths will be the only thing to save us all.
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